How to Make a Bong (Out of Your Old Skate Shoes)
Times are tough. Shit gets more expensive every day, including skate shoes and cannabis paraphernalia. Since many skateboarders a) tend to need shoes to skate, b) need to be at least a little bit high when they do, and c) do not tend to have great amounts of disposable income after buying skate shoes and copious amounts of weed, we figured we’d offer a helping hand. In this guide, you’ll learn how to save money by upcylcing your hard-worn skate shoes to build a shoe-based water filtration system designed for weed smoking, aka a bong. Before we continue, please be advised that this guide is for satirical-educational purposes only. Bongkers is not liable for any adverse health effects actually smoking weed out of an old shoe may incur.
Step 1: Selecting the right shoe
Because any bong requires a watertight vessel with an adequately roomy interior, a chunky skate shoe works best.
It should be easy to hold in your hand, so any model with a thick outsole is preferred.
Since chunky skate shoes are having kind of a moment at the moment, this step shouldn’t be too difficult to complete. If the shoe already has an ollie hole, good for you! If not, see Step 3.
Step 2: Clean the shoe (entirely optional but kind of recommended)
You may want to consider cleaning the shoe before moving forward. The obvious reason is hygiene. Respective of the fact that hygiene seems to be of secondary concern to most skateboarders, this one is up to you. If the idea of putting your mouth over a sweaty old shoe seems unappealing to you, you may employ repeated heat sterilization (not too hot though or the rubber will melt).
Step 3: Structural Engineering
The Bongkers Research & Development Department has developed a patented system for structurally altering the shoe for bong-smoking purposes. Here are the required components for such as system:
- Flexible, watertight lining material (such as wrapping film)
- A tube or pen casing
- A small piece of metal to put the weed in (like a tea strainer)
- A water chamber (this is the shoe itself)
- A tool to poke a hole in the shoe (such as a screwdriver)
If your shoe doesn’t already have an ollie hole, poke one through it right above the sole. You may want to find a spot that has already been thinned by abrasion to make this step easier. The hole should be no larger than your tube or pen casing. Next, line the interior of the shoe with wrapping film and fill the shoe with water (just a little bit). Stick the pen casing through the hole in a downward fashion, so it reaches into the water. Place the tea strainer onto the top of the casing. The ankle opening of the shoe will serve as the mouthpiece. Congratulations, you’ve assembled your very own shoe-bong!
Step 4: Take a Step back and Consider Your Life Choices
Before you immediately regret this absolute waste of time, appreciate your craftiness. You created something with your own hands, no matter how useless the result turned out to be.
Text by Joseph Möller
Illustrations by Sebastian Fuchs
