Here’s how we imagine the process of designing a shoe for a collaboration between two well-known skateboarding brands.
Stacy, the Corporate Guy: “Yo Clive, we need you to create two colorways for our collaboration with this super-hyped brand.”
Clive, the Lead Designer: “Okay, what did you have in mind?”
Stacy, the Corporate Guy: “It’s this hardcore pro skater’s pro model, what’s his face, and he wants the designs to reflect on this hipster company of his. I dunno, something something awesome.”
Clive, the Lead Designer: “Got it. So how about exploring colorways that’ll take into account the brand’s arty aesthetic? Like weird colors and unusual materials?”
Stacy, the Corporate Guy: “We’re one of the oldest skate brands on the planet, Clive. We didn’t get here by making shoes that look like a teddybear fucked an ice cream cone. Still, we need to give those people something.”
Clive, the Lead Designer: “Well, we could do a super limited crazy one and a boring one for the plebs. Makes the crazy one seem even more attractive. How about, like, a neon-white colorway and another, less obtrusive one?”
Corporate guy: “Whatever. As long as we’re making them happy. I’m too old for this shit.”
Stacy, the Corporate Guy’s Assistant, Mary: “Stacy, there is one Mr. Jason Dill on the line for you.”
Stacy, the Corporate Guy: “Fuck, that’s all I needed. Okay, put him through. Hold on for a second, Clive.”
Jason Dill, the Co-Founder of Fucking Awesome: “Yo yo yo, what’s up motherfuckin’ Stacy my motherfuckin’ mans?!”
Stacy, the Corporate Guy: “Well, good morning, Mr. Dill. We were just talking about —.”
Jason Dill, the Co-Founder of Fucking Awesome: “I know, the AVE Pro x FA collab, right? I brainstormed with my man Anthony that we should do something fucking radical, like groundbreaking arty shit. Whaddaya think, Stacy?
Stacy, the Corporate Guy: “Certainly, Mr. Dill. As I said, I was just talking to our lead designer, Clive. I told him that we should go forward with a super-exclusive, neon-white colorway to reflect the artistry of your brand.”
Jason Dill, the Co-Founder of Fucking Awesome: “Yeah, FUCKING NEON and shit! Fucking trippy shit! Sounds dope. But there’s gonna be a second colorway, right? Let’s make that one even more radical! FUCKING NEON ORANGE AND PURPLE MOTHERFUCKERS!”
Stacy, the Corporate Guy: “There really is no need to become agitated, Mr. Dill. Management has decided that we’re moving forward with a minimal, unobtrusive design. Idiosyncratic design choices might reflect badly on us down the line and cause people to talk about the brand negatively. We need a product that is easy to sell. Making it too outrageous wouldn’t sit right with our core customer base, skate shops.”
Jason Dill, the Co-Founder of Fucking Awesome: “Stacy, don’t be such a fucking lickspittle. Don’t be so fucking boring. Be fucking awesome! It’s the name of the motherfucking game, my mans! Just get creative! That’s what skate-fucking-boarding is all about my mans! Cre-a-ti-vi-ty! That’s also what Ed Templeton always said!”
Stacy, the Corporate Guy: “I appreciate your enthusiasm, Mr. Dill, and I will forward your inquiry to our lead designer.”
Jason Dill, the Co-Founder of Fucking Awesome: “Just make it like fucking radioactive, with weird neon reflective stripes and nonsensical references to popular culture or sports or old skate shit or —
Stacy, the Corporate Guy: “Thank you for calling, Mr. Dill. I will make sure that the exclusive neon-white colorway will enter production shortly.”
He hangs up the phone. He picks it up again and gets Clive on the line.
Stacy, the Corporate Guy: “Clive, we gotta do the super-exclusive neon-white version exclusively for FA. But there’s still the other one we sell to skate shops.”
Clive, the Lead Designer: “So, what do you think?”
Stacy, the Corporate Guy: “Just fucking make it black.”
You can buy the Vans AVE Pro x Fucking Awesome at our web shop and at our store in Frankfurt from December 10..
Read more

Before your barkeep friend’s localist, neighborhood-worshipping basement-run “cult” brand, before the trend to purge all vowels from your favorite city’s name and use the consonantal remainder as a...

What do Woody Allen, Willy Brandt, and Mark Twain have in common? They’re not the respective person’s real name, but pseudonyms (look up their real names for yourself, you lazy people). Pseudonyms,...






