Converse CONS Spring 2016

Woop, woop! This is a wake up call for all of you hibernating during the shittiest of seasons. Get the fuck outta bed! Yeah, the cold sucks. And the rain, too. While we’re working closely with BRD GmbH officials to legalize anti-winter Chemtrails over Frankfurt (it’s basically a no-brainer as the Illuminati reptiloids have their headquarters at the top floor of the Commerzbank tower, FYI), let us offer some interim consolation until the New World Order and eternal summer are finally established: Converse’s new drop has arrived earlier today and we’re pretty sure you’ll forget about the cold weather once you get some new kicks. Even simple flat ground skating is fun in new shoes. As usual, the shoes feature Lunarlon technology and yes, it’s made from a secret formula which was given to us by an advanced alien race from Alpha Centauri. You know, the very same who invented the nail clipper before the wheel because they have ten fingers on each hand.

For the time being, CONS kept it simple with the colorways: CTAS (Chuck Taylor) Pros in Hi and Low, black. One Stars in blue and grey. Sumners in some other grey. That’s it. If you’re looking for bright and shiny colors you better lick some LSD. Which will be free once we’re the undisputed masters of the Universe. Which will happen, eventually. We only have to get these Chemtrail chemicals up in the air. Just you wait. Oh, and while you’re waiting, you can finally give that handrail a try. Sacking doesn’t hurt so much when your balls are fucking frozen.

You can buy Converse both in store and online.